Resolving Everyday Conflict

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Resolving Everyday Conflict

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Wonderful Book Review by Charles
Overall

This sould be the 101 book of Conflict resolution. Very basic information and scripture but this is where humanity steps in and the flesh makes this difficult. This is a great book to help us all strive to put Christ for most and our own needs last. Thanks for this book, it is a must read for all people even if not a Christian. Thanks

(Posted on 11/12/13)

Practical and Biblical Review by David
Overall

This is a shorter version than his more in depth books. Perfect length for me. It contains helpful motivation and practical suggestions for dealing with most serious relationship problems..

(Posted on 3/18/13)

Very good book in audio form. Review by Lil Fella in Aus
Overall

This book gets straight to the point. First cab off the rank is dealing with ME! This has been a growing problem in the self centred culture we live in. Dealing with ME addresses the potentially negative impact which comes from sinful nature... me orientation. I can assure if the ME part of conflict can be addressed you are well on the way to healing any conflict.

Well written, well read. Everyone can grow from hearing the contents of this book. Thank you for the free download last month. Highly recommended.

Rupert

(Posted on 10/6/12)

Excellent Book Review by Joyce
Overall

I really enjoyed the content, the tone, and the expertise of this book! I hope to read/listen to more of his books in the future!

(Posted on 8/13/12)

Narration makes it hard to finish Review by chinasis
Overall

This is probably a very good book in the print edition or if it were read by someone else. I personally found this voice hard to listen to for extended periods of time. It was often almost monotone.

(Posted on 7/3/12)

Keeps listener's interest Review by Audiofile Magazine (excerpt)
Overall

'England reads in a simple and easy-to-follow style that keeps the listener’s interest.' 2012 Audies Finalist © AudioFile 2012, Portland, Maine

(Posted on 5/30/12)

excellent Review by Terry
Overall

The Peacemaker does it again with specific help and I appreciate it! Pastor Terry

(Posted on 5/19/12)

Easy to read reference on Biblical conflict resolution Review by Jeff
Overall

Very concise yet personal. No major new concepts, but all of the important concepts of conflict resolution are woven together in a practical fabric for everyday use for anyone.

(Posted on 5/9/12)

Very practical and biblical look at the way we are to handle the everyday small and large conflicts in our lives Review by Adam Shields
Overall

This is one of those books that I have already recommended to a number of people. Everyone deals with conflict on a daily basis. It may be small or large, but conflict is a part of life.

One of the reviews I saw on Amazon played on the biblical phrase in its title, “Where two or more are gathered there is conflict.”

Ken Sande starts with a simple definition of conflict, ”Conflict comes because we see something we think we deserve and cannot have it.”

This book then deals with why we have conflict and how we can have hope in conflict because of the gospel. This is a very overtly Christian look at conflict. In general Sande says we either escape or attack when confronted with conflict (or we alternate wildly between the two.) Instead our job as Christians (all Christians’s jobs, not just a few ‘called’) is to be peacemakers.

The majority of this book it is very practical. He briefly has a chapter on each of four steps that we need to focus on when we approach conflict.

1) We need to think about Glorifying God. This means sometimes we need to let something go, and sometimes we need to confront. But before we confront we need to focus on the next step.

2) Get the Log Out. This does not mean we should not confront others, it means we need to honestly appraise our own involvement in the situation, admit our place in it and take full responsibility.

3) We need to make sure our focus is on gently restoring the brother or sister. This is where the relationship is held in prime importance and often where the Grace vs Truth discussion comes in. We cannot forget to speak in a way that the other person will hear (as much as we have control in the situation). And we cannot gloss over the wrong. I appreciate that Sande says that it is more important to restore than get our point across. There are times when restoring means that we stop before the full extent of our pain or wrong is revealed. Because the person is already restored back to Christ. There are other times when we must share the whole extend of pain and wrong.

4) The final step is to be reconciled. This is where he spends time talking about what restoration means and the difference between forgiving and forgetting and the actual biblical purpose of reconciliation.

I am convinced that Sande is right that the best way to share the gospel is to properly handle conflict in a loving manner. Because conflict is not primarily about us, but glorifying God we have resources to draw on that others do not. It is also the difference in how we handle conflict that can attract others to Christ.

This may sound theoretical, but it is very practical. I think it would make a very good small group discussion. The book is short, but very content rich and virtually everyone could use more skills in conflict resolution.

(Posted on 5/8/12)

Excellent and Biblical Review by Travis
Overall

In Resolving Everyday Conflict, Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson offer very biblical and very practical counsel for helping believers deal with life’s inevitable friction. Sande is well-known from his work with Peacemaker Ministries, and his skill is on display in this helpful little book.

Positives

Sande and Johnson make conflict resolution seem very simple. They helpfully call on readers to first focus on the glory of God and to repent of their own personal sin in the conflict before gently confronting others with the intent of restoration and reconciliation. In my own experience as a pastor, the first two major points, calling individuals to focus first on God’s glory and to act first to repent of their own sin before accusing others, are life-savers when it comes to bringing conflicts to resolution.

In the book, Sande also shares seven keys to an appropriate confession of sin. These seven principles, all beginning with the letter “A”, are themselves worth the price of the book. Without giving away the list, I found the call to avoid words such as “if”, “maybe”, and “but” when making a confession to be vital.

Negatives

My only negative here is that I would happily have read more. Readers might find themselves disappointed that this book does not delve into issues of the deeper hurts of life. But, as the title suggests, this book is intended to help us resolve everyday conflicts, not the kinds of crushing hurts that some might want to solve. For help in healing deeper wounds, looking at a bigger and more thorough work will be necessary—though this book could certainly be a help too.

Conclusion

I would eagerly recommend Resolving Everyday Conflict to any pastor, counselor, or everyday believer who wants a helpful system to apply to normal, human struggles. This book is easy-to-read, helpful, and practical.

Audio

I Listened to the excellent audio version of this book from ChristianAudio.com. Maurice England read the book in a very clear and engaging way. I received my audio copy for free as a part of the ChristianAudio reviewers program.

(Posted on 10/3/11)

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