What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated
Are your adult child's mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance?
When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it's difficult to know what your "help" as a parent should look like.
Following her bestselling book Setting Boundaries®with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope as your child walks through challenging situations such as...
- drug addiction
- mental and emotional disabilities
- military trauma and PTSD
- personality disorders
- financial trouble
- depression and bipolar
- ...and so much more
Take a step back and let this book help you develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.
- Words of wisdom from a "been there, done that" parent
As a parent of an adult son with bi-polar, ADHD, and substance abuse issues, I tend to read a lot of books and articles for insight and guidance. In fact, an earlier book by Allison Bottke, called, “Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children,” has inspired me and greatly strengthened my resolve.
Ms. Bottke’s newest book, “How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children,” addresses some of the same issues as her earlier work, but includes more concepts specifically related to “troubled” individuals – those dealing with drugs or alcohol use/abuse, mental conditions, and physical health constraints. Since she has gone through many of the same trials, her words, resources, and approach ring true and sincere.
Not simply a “feel good” book, “How to Connect with your Troubled Adult Children,” validated many of my experiences including financial pressures, irrational feelings of guilt and obligation, concepts like enabling and boundary-setting, and changes that must be made by each parent as well as the child with difficulties. Her pace and writing style make this book very comfortable and approachable. It’s not preachy or judgmental, and offers many practical ways of dealing with life with adult children, whether or not they live at home.
I’ve come away from this book with renewed determination to make the best of our bad situation, as well as an improved attitude toward my son and our family as a whole. The only element that I wish she had spent more space on would be specific suggestions for consequences and what to say under different circumstances. On the other hand, she provides outstanding examples of letters that can be used when working through bringing a troubled adult child to a point of independence. Several are in the book, and many others are on her website.
Because the book is targeted towards the parents/caregivers, there are a variety of encouraging phrases sprinkled throughout the chapters. Many of them deal with how to care for ourselves, how to find peace within the chaos, and how to become a strong, independent adult (as the parent!). Ms. Bottke is a Christian, and this book reflects the wisdom and advice from the Bible as well as from her personal experiences. I would recommend this book to believers as well as non-Christians, because the basic tenets are grounded in common sense and individual responsibility.
I was provided a complimentary Advance copy of the book from the author and volunteered for the opportunity to provide an honest, impartial review. I was not required to write a positive review and all thoughts and opinions I have expressed are entirely my own.