Barbara Rainey Offers Sage Advice on the Art of Being a Wife
Radio personality and bestselling author Barbara Rainey knows firsthand the challenges newly married couples face. Dismayed by Hollywood depictions of marriage and the seemingly easy solution of divorce, she sees a desperate need for a voice of experience, a mentor who has been there and understands--and can encourage, coach, and care.
As her daughters began their married lives, Barbara wanted to share with them, and now you, some of the lessons learned throughout her own marriage as well as those gleaned from years of ministry to couples. In these heartfelt, insightful letters, she answers the tough questions and addresses the realities of marriage. Through personal stories--including her own mistakes--and practical advice, Barbara provides the tools and direction to help you become a godly wife and determine your part in achieving a better marriage.
- Marvelous and compassionate resource
This book is exactly what I want to say to my two daughters. It is written with compassion, transparency and understanding (the audio is read beautifully) and is true to scripture's principles. The author addresses disillusionment in many areas and urges trust in God. I highly recommend it and have passed it on to my biological daughters and others.
- It was okay
Book Review on “Letters to My Daughters, the art of being a good wife” by Barbara Rainey, review by elambert312
This book had its ups and downs for me. Overall I would have to say the book was okay, but not something I would feel comfortable recommending to anyone.
The idea of using a painting to illustrate marriage was alright, but I must say I was greatly shocked and disgusted when Rainy attempted to pull God down to the level of mankind in chapter one: “…He knew marriages would fail, that His hoped for plans of glory, would not all be as He envisioned.” Is it true God knew marriages would fail? Of course! Is it true that He knew not all of His plans for glory would not all be as He envisioned? Absolutely NO! God is not human and that is a solid fact. We humans are limited and we know that not all that we plan will happen (in fact, most of the time we expect the opposite to take place!) but God is not like us, thankfully! He is not ignorant of the future because He planned the future.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us tot adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.”
“In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will…”
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.”
Hmmm…, sure seems like God knew, and knows, what He is doing and will do.
Not only did Rainey try to take away from God’s inscrutable knowledge but she contradicts herself in chapter 4 when speaking on Esther when she said, “He makes no mistakes…” and in other parts of the book Rainey talks about relying on God, but how can we rely on a god who doesn’t even know if things will work out himself? We cannot trust that kind of god, we can only truly trust the One Who knows and plans all.
But, like I said at the beginning, this book as its ups as well.
At the end of chapter 1 Rainey made an interesting point when talking on the eternal purpose of marriage, “And so it is that admiring a beautifully mature marriage makes us want to know the couple and the Creator. And that is the eternal purpose for marriage, making Him known.”
I also liked how in chapter 3 Rainey said, “Remember, surrender to Jesus is not a onetime decision. But a daily one. A beautiful marriage is not possible without a solid foundation built on the Rock of Christ.” How true that is, with not just marriage, but life in general! We must die to ourselves daily as we go through the trials God has planned us to go through.
Also in the same chapter Rainey points out some clear and to the point truths about marriage, “My daughters, prayer is a privilege God gives to involve you in the work He is doing in your husband’s life.”
“When your marriage feels impossible, remember, He wants you to experience your own inadequacy, it’s good to know you can’t do it all.”
I do not like how it seems many Christian book authors will take liberties with the scripture by adding their own little, “spins to the mix” as Rainey did in chapter 4 when speaking on Adam and Eve, “Though we would love to know more details of this creation performance, which was celebrated by an audience of watching angles who sang for joy…” Where does it say in Genesis that the angles sang for joy when God created marriage? Have it might have happened? Yes, but we do not know if it did, so it would be wise not to add that on to scripture no matter how “little” it may be.
Chapter 6 was on the topic of the marriage bed and I must say Rainey handled this topic with the respect and discretion it deserves (though a couple of times she made and spoke of comments that should have been left out as they are not at all edifying (these comments were brief but not appropriate)).
Two times near the end of this book in chapters 5 and 8 Rainey makes some presuming statements that are not reasonable according to scripture and life as not everyone will marry. In chapter 5 when Rainey was speaking on the importance of letting men assist women she says, “Because it is a step towards his becoming the kind of man who will make a very good husband one day. Those of you who have sons are training them to become husbands. Giving them doses of respect, admiring them as they learn to lead and serve others, calling out the best in them, are crucial ways you can cooperate with God’s hand as He forms them into them men He desires them to be for the unique plans He has for them.” And in chapter 8 when Rainey was speaking about her daughters’ marriages she said, “Parents prepare their children, and some of you are getting nearer now that you have young teens, and pray for this moment for year and years. So your weddings were in many ways gifts to both sets of parents.” A good marriage is not to be the goal of a Christian. If anything, parents should be praying that their children will grow to be faithful God-loving men and women, not for them to get married. Because it is a well-known fact that not everyone gets married. Presuming upon God is no noble thing to do, it is foolish as we do not know what tomorrow will bring and it will set our expectations on the wrong goal. For those of us who are unmarried, we should not be focusing on getting a good marriage because marriage may not be in God’s plan for us. What scripture DOES tell us to focus on is being a good Christian.
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.”
The reader of this audio book was Nan McNamara who I will say did a very good job in her reading of this book. Her voice is soft, and yet steady. And she was not to slow and not fast (and having listened to audio books previously to this one I really appreciate her skill).
I received a free copy of this book from christianaudio.com as part of their Review Program. Reviews are not required to be positive and the opinions I have expressed are my own.
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