Ken Sande, author of the bestselling classic The Peacemaker, has long been a trusted resource on the topic of conflict resolution. In Resolving Everyday Conflict, Sande distills his message to the essentials, quickly equipping readers with the tools they need to bring peace to their relationships.
Everyone encounters conflict--whether it be with a coworker, family member, friend, or complete stranger. And yet we all desire harmony in our relationships. Resolving Everyday Conflict is a practical, biblical, concise guide to peacemaking in everyday life that can turn tumultuous relationships into peaceful ones.
- Peace that comes from God into the heart of men
This book is a comprehensive discussion and guide on recognizing, handling, resolving and preventing conflict through biblical and practical techniques. All possible angles from the side of the offended, the offender and God himself are carefully explained and clarified so as to give longer -lasting and deeper meaning to peacemaking rather than superficial and temporary solutions to conflicts. It shows how to turn conflicts from destructive stumbling blocks to relationship into opportunities to turn the hearts of everyone involved closer to each other and to God. A true demonstration of the fruit of the spirit, specifically peace, working in the life of a true believer, the peace that would guard our hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. I would confidently recommend this book to all my friends . . . .
and enemies as well. :-)
- Peace is worth our greatest effort!
"Peace is worth our greatest effort."
Kevin Johnson writes clearly and to the point. He tells us why we should always work to resolve conflict, reconcile, and to do it for the glory of God. Using scripture, he emphasizes key points to make you realize what you may be doing wrong that is starting conflict, and how to improve your relationship with anyone that you have conflict with.
Some of my favorite points that Johnson helps you to understand better: Glorify God. Get the Log Out. Generally Restore. Go and Be Reconciled. Johnson reminded me that you can change your heart and what is in other's hearts; it's a simple thing, but sometimes forgotten... it's PRAYER.
Biblical principles are utilized to underline what it means when you forgive someone or are forgiven yourself. I truly loved his commentary on what he calls "The 4 Promises of Forgiveness." I never realized that there are so many emotional things happening inside when you tell someone else "I forgive you!"
However, the ideal that will stick with me and aid me the most is "The 7 A's of Apologies" found in chapter 5. There are so many actions that should be carried out with an apology. It's definitely not enough just to mumble the words "I'm sorry" like a toddler can, but to be able to admit specifically why you're apologizing, tell how you're going to alter your behavior, accept the consequences, and more. (Every time you apologize.)
This is an excellent book that I believe any Christian can benefit from. Also, if you're into listening to books, the audio version is done in excellent quality.
- Scriptural conflict resolution
This book lays it out line upon line. Whether the conflict large or small; marital, work, or church related, I encourage resolving conflict God's way. The book provides conflict resolution based on scripture, heart checks for those in conflict and steps to resolve conflict.
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- Wonderful Book
This sould be the 101 book of Conflict resolution. Very basic information and scripture but this is where humanity steps in and the flesh makes this difficult. This is a great book to help us all strive to put Christ for most and our own needs last. Thanks for this book, it is a must read for all people even if not a Christian. Thanks
- Practical and Biblical
This is a shorter version than his more in depth books. Perfect length for me. It contains helpful motivation and practical suggestions for dealing with most serious relationship problems..
- Very good book in audio form.
This book gets straight to the point. First cab off the rank is dealing with ME! This has been a growing problem in the self centred culture we live in. Dealing with ME addresses the potentially negative impact which comes from sinful nature... me orientation. I can assure if the ME part of conflict can be addressed you are well on the way to healing any conflict.
Well written, well read. Everyone can grow from hearing the contents of this book. Thank you for the free download last month. Highly recommended.
- Excellent Book
I really enjoyed the content, the tone, and the expertise of this book! I hope to read/listen to more of his books in the future!
- Narration makes it hard to finish
This is probably a very good book in the print edition or if it were read by someone else. I personally found this voice hard to listen to for extended periods of time. It was often almost monotone.
- Keeps listener's interest
'England reads in a simple and easy-to-follow style that keeps the listener’s interest.' 2012 Audies Finalist © AudioFile 2012, Portland, Maine
The Peacemaker does it again with specific help and I appreciate it! Pastor Terry
- Easy to read reference on Biblical conflict resolution
Very concise yet personal. No major new concepts, but all of the important concepts of conflict resolution are woven together in a practical fabric for everyday use for anyone.
- Very practical and biblical look at the way we are to handle the everyday small and large conflicts in our lives
This is one of those books that I have already recommended to a number of people. Everyone deals with conflict on a daily basis. It may be small or large, but conflict is a part of life.
One of the reviews I saw on Amazon played on the biblical phrase in its title, “Where two or more are gathered there is conflict.”
Ken Sande starts with a simple definition of conflict, ”Conflict comes because we see something we think we deserve and cannot have it.”
This book then deals with why we have conflict and how we can have hope in conflict because of the gospel. This is a very overtly Christian look at conflict. In general Sande says we either escape or attack when confronted with conflict (or we alternate wildly between the two.) Instead our job as Christians (all Christians’s jobs, not just a few ‘called’) is to be peacemakers.
The majority of this book it is very practical. He briefly has a chapter on each of four steps that we need to focus on when we approach conflict.
1) We need to think about Glorifying God. This means sometimes we need to let something go, and sometimes we need to confront. But before we confront we need to focus on the next step.
2) Get the Log Out. This does not mean we should not confront others, it means we need to honestly appraise our own involvement in the situation, admit our place in it and take full responsibility.
3) We need to make sure our focus is on gently restoring the brother or sister. This is where the relationship is held in prime importance and often where the Grace vs Truth discussion comes in. We cannot forget to speak in a way that the other person will hear (as much as we have control in the situation). And we cannot gloss over the wrong. I appreciate that Sande says that it is more important to restore than get our point across. There are times when restoring means that we stop before the full extent of our pain or wrong is revealed. Because the person is already restored back to Christ. There are other times when we must share the whole extend of pain and wrong.
4) The final step is to be reconciled. This is where he spends time talking about what restoration means and the difference between forgiving and forgetting and the actual biblical purpose of reconciliation.
I am convinced that Sande is right that the best way to share the gospel is to properly handle conflict in a loving manner. Because conflict is not primarily about us, but glorifying God we have resources to draw on that others do not. It is also the difference in how we handle conflict that can attract others to Christ.
This may sound theoretical, but it is very practical. I think it would make a very good small group discussion. The book is short, but very content rich and virtually everyone could use more skills in conflict resolution.
- Excellent and Biblical
In Resolving Everyday Conflict, Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson offer very biblical and very practical counsel for helping believers deal with life’s inevitable friction. Sande is well-known from his work with Peacemaker Ministries, and his skill is on display in this helpful little book.
Sande and Johnson make conflict resolution seem very simple. They helpfully call on readers to first focus on the glory of God and to repent of their own personal sin in the conflict before gently confronting others with the intent of restoration and reconciliation. In my own experience as a pastor, the first two major points, calling individuals to focus first on God’s glory and to act first to repent of their own sin before accusing others, are life-savers when it comes to bringing conflicts to resolution.
In the book, Sande also shares seven keys to an appropriate confession of sin. These seven principles, all beginning with the letter “A”, are themselves worth the price of the book. Without giving away the list, I found the call to avoid words such as “if”, “maybe”, and “but” when making a confession to be vital.
My only negative here is that I would happily have read more. Readers might find themselves disappointed that this book does not delve into issues of the deeper hurts of life. But, as the title suggests, this book is intended to help us resolve everyday conflicts, not the kinds of crushing hurts that some might want to solve. For help in healing deeper wounds, looking at a bigger and more thorough work will be necessary—though this book could certainly be a help too.
I would eagerly recommend Resolving Everyday Conflict to any pastor, counselor, or everyday believer who wants a helpful system to apply to normal, human struggles. This book is easy-to-read, helpful, and practical.
I Listened to the excellent audio version of this book from ChristianAudio.com. Maurice England read the book in a very clear and engaging way. I received my audio copy for free as a part of the ChristianAudio reviewers program.
- Firm voice overwhelms subtle message
Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson present this book about conflict, narrated by Maurice England for the audio edition. England reads in a firm tone, allowing his confidence to seep from the lines of this audio art. Sounding much like a Texan during the Dust Bowl, the man of man accents carries this book more as a command than instruction.
+4 for potential
-3 for Texan style
+2 for series effort
SG does not recommend the audio edition of this book. The print edition, however, may be worth investigating.
- A Peacemaking Heart
This review first appeared on my blog, Jacob's Café (jacobscafe.blogspot.com).
During my graduate program, I got to be involved in a research project exploring Muslim-Christian interfaith peacemaking. It included dialogue between evangelical Christians and Muslims from across the country to create a new peacemaking manual. My dissertation was a secondary study on this initial project, too, so I became very familiar with ideas of faith-based peacemaking.
Since that time, I have been very interested in the few faith-based peacemaking programs in existence, particularly those that are of any good quality. Peacemaking Ministries has been one that I have been following for a few years that I have really liked. They offer a variety of paid and free resources, including a weekly email devotional.
Ken Sande, the founder of Peacemaking Ministries, wrote Resolving Daily Conflict along with Kevin Johnson. This book provides some very strong peacemaking techniques that are well grounded in both the Bible and peacemaking theory.
The thing that frustrated me in my peacemaking research is that many of the peacemaking suggestions were rather repetitive and separated from actual practice. Sande's work is augmented by his own peacemaking work, which makes it far more credible. However, being familiar with the peacemaking literature, the techniques are not that novel.
There were two elements of this book that I really appreciated. The first was the broad definition of peacemaking. Rather than just looking at traditional violence, Sande and Johnson note how managing daily conflict is actually peacemaking,
The more notable element coincided with one of the conclusions of my dissertation, that peacemaking activity needs to be rooted in the development of a peacemaking heart. What I noted is that virtually all peacemaking literature solely looks at actions. The problem with that is action without real intent will fall flat, hence the relatively ineffectiveness of peacemaking training programs and interventions to revolutionize the world. I proposed that developing more of heart of peacemaking would make the techniques more successful.
Sande and Johnson's work is the first and only text that explains peacemaking strategies that actually explores and encourages developing such a peacemaking heart. They initiated their tome through explaining how peacemaking is central to God's heart, the Christian faith, and Christian living. They emphasized how important it is to be close with God and have our hearts shaped by God in order to be effective peacemakers.
Again, although the actual peacemaking strategies are nothing new, the emphasis on heart and connection to God puts this text far above other resources that I have encountered.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
- I am already a peace maker... yeah right you need to listen to this too...just like I did
All of us have conflicts. In the intro the authors state that maybe you are even picking up this book because your in one now. As we all know, conflicts happen, whether in writing an email, posting on social networks, in line at the store, or at the yearly family gatherings. You pick any time and place, conflicts are probably going on. Conflict is not prejudice and can be found in most relationships. Conflicts happen because we live in a fallen world and the result of this depravity, lack of communication, and perseverance to resolve the situation, conflicts are all around us. No one is left unscathed.
You probably recognize the famous author Ken Sande of Peacemaker Ministries who wrote the best seller, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict. This new book (REC), states that;
Everyone encounters conflict–whether it be with a co-worker, family member, friend, or complete stranger. And yet we all desire harmony in our relationships. Resolving Everyday Conflict is a practical, biblical, and concise guide to peacemaking in everyday life that can turn your troubled relationships into peaceful ones.
I am a peacemaking addict! Why… it seems that I am very aware of the conflicts in my life regularly. This audio was timely, biblical, good narration, and short enough to be knocked out in a couple of days. I actually listened to it a few times (and probably need to listen to it again…). As always am challenged by the Peacemaker Ministries material and this is no exception.
Chapter 3 was probably the most impactful for me in that the authors take some time to break down and explain Peace faking, Peace braking, and Peacemaking. I was struck because I have always known (prideful of course) that I was a peace breaker, but the authors go on to describe that one can actually mix both of them together, and as I listened I was convicted that I at times am also a peace faker. I could not help but think (in my subsequent reviews) that I wish I could also share this with a few folks I was in conflict with now, and I was convicted again, in that the authors address this heart motive too… This message was for me, not for ‘them’.
I highly recommend this audiobook in that the authors challenge our culture and remind us of the gospel and the biblical indicatives and imperatives when it comes to peace making. Further the presentation of the material was informative, cohesive, down to earth, filled with transparency, authenticity, examples and the narration was very appealing. The author’s successfully (as always) conveyed Biblical truth, and I would recommend this to ANYONE who is interested in becoming a peacemaker. If your willing to take it further than the audio, on the PM site, you can even take an online course! Excellent resource and highly recommend!
- A Biblical Approach to Conflict
When Resolving Everyday Conflict by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson begins by linking conflict, sin, and the gospel, I knew this book was going to be good. The first part of the book gives an overview of the nature of conflict, and hence the part about sin. Although conflicts can arise through misunderstanding, those are either resolved right away or sin is introduced and they don’t go away. That’s why this book is so good: it gets to the heart of the issue right away.
Sande and Johnson have been involved in counseling ministry for a long time, and it warms my heart to hear them base relational reconciliation on the hope of the gospel. They aren’t trying to squeeze reconciliation, forgiveness, and conflict resolution into the gospel. Actually, it is because of their strong understanding of the gospel that they find it as the basis of all reconciliation.
The first part of the book leads into the process for dealing with conflict, starting with the glory of God and leading into a biblical method from start to finish and beyond. When in conflict I tend to point to the other person’s faults, whereas this book reminds me of the biblical truth of finding the log in my eye first.
The icing on the cake is a top-notch narrator. At a short 3.5 hours, this book offers a biblical overview of the issue and provides a starting point for resolving your everyday conflict.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from ChristianAudio as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
- Helpful guidace on biblical conflict resolution
In Resolving Everyday Conflict, Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson teach on how to deal with conflict in a manner that is biblical and leads to real reconciliation.
The book is quite short (128 pages or about 3.5 hours in audio). The thing which makes this book particularly valuable is how gospel centred it is. The authors are really clear about what the gospel is and how it has implications for how we deal with conflict. They are likewise helpfully clear about what the bible teaches forgiveness is and how God’s forgiveness of us provides a model for our forgiving of other people. Also helpful is the structure they provide for approaching conflict solving- Glorify God, Get the log out of your own eye, Gently restore and Go and be reconciled.
This book will be most helpful if you read it with an actual conflict you are facing in mind. I found when I got a lot more out of it when I started thinking about what I was hearing/reading when I considered it in light of recent interactions I’d had with people, rather than just trying to learn general principles to apply sometime in the future.
One thing that annoyed me about the book was occasional plugs for the author’s mediation service. It also took me a little while to get used to the audiobook narrators voice. Other than these very minor complaints, I thought it was a great book.
Review copy courtesy of christianaudio.com
- Try to avoid it, but you will have conflict & this can help
“Everyone encounters conflict--whether it be with a coworker, family member, friend, or complete stranger. And yet we all desire harmony in our relationships. Resolving Everyday Conflict is a practical, biblical, concise guide to peacemaking in everyday life that can turn tumultuous relationships into peaceful ones.”
Thus the book says of itself in a blurb, and it is true. No matter how much we may try to avoid it, conflict of some sort happens. And this book gives an excellent overview of the Biblical principles and mandates to go about resolving conflict.
This book is basically a condensed version of “The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict” by the same author. I took a break from reading that book (only chapters away from being done) to listen to this audiobook and was surprised what a great summation it is of this larger work (which I highly recommend). I typically do not like abridged or summarized versions of books (since it was not the author’s intent), but since this was done by the same author he did an excellent job.
Whether you are a church leader or layman I can’t recommend this book enough. Don’t think about going to it in the midst or after a conflict (like I did), but get it in times of peace so that you may know how to rightly, Biblically, handle a conflict in a God-honoring fashion whenever one may come up in the future.
If you are a light reader I would suggest this book (coming in at 128 pages), but if you want more detail on any of the points in the book or aren’t afraid of larger tomes then get The Peacemaker instead (coming in at 320 pages). Either way, the book is full of practical, real life examples to help you handle conflict with a clear conscience.
I listened to the audio book, so to comment on the narrator, well, this was one of the first narrators I initially didn’t like. He sounded like my grandpa had sat me down by the fire and was going to read a fairy tale to me. I think he would be a better voice for a children’s book rather than a book like this. But, he is clear and easy to understand so I didn’t let that get in the way of enjoying and benefiting from this book.
Case in point, you will get into conflict in your life (even if you try to avoid it), you will need help to resolve issues, and this book does just that.
- Great resource
Humans have always had to deal with conflict. This conflict may be on the job, at home, with friends or family members. Conflict is a part of life, and we need to have a clue how to handle conflict when it arises.
In the book Resolving Everyday Conflict by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson, the reader can learn about conflict and how to handle it in a practical, easy to understand way. There are four questions that are answered by the "Four G's" to ask yourself during times of conflict. I liked the examples of conflict given throughout the book to make application of the ways to handle conflict.
This book would be a nice addition for your personal library or church library because anyone can benefit from it. I can see it would be particularly helpful to those in leadership positions.
The narrator, Maurice England, did a nice job reading the text, and I found his voice easy to hear and follow.
Thank you to the christianaudio Reviewers Program for providing this audio book to me for my honest review.
- A Necessary Resource for Believers
Of course, this resource is needed today. Everywhere you turn, you will find conflict. What I appreciated most about this short 128 page book is that it can stand alone. In other words, you do not need to read The Peacemaker before reading this resource. Still, I did find there were plenty of references to The Peacemaker that reading that book first would do the reader a service and help him or her to be better equipped to Resolve Everyday Conflict.
Since this was listened to as an audiobook, a word or two is in order for the audio experience. I found Maurice England's narration to be well done. His words were measured where needed and more conversational when applicable. To be able to listen to the book in the car would be a huge benefit--especially if your conflict is at work (or in the home in which case you could listen to the audio when away from the home).
Who doesn't have conflict? If you are breathing, then you have conflict somewhere in your life. Everyone needs to understand how to resolve conflict. As a Christian, you need to understand how to do so biblically and in the process you will find that you are sharing the gospel with those who are unbelievers around you. I highly recommend Resolving Everyday Conflict to any and all believers looking to equip themselves to make a difference.
- Where two are gathered, there is conflict
Ken Sande’s new book Resolving Everyday Conflict is packed with Gospel-centered, Christ-saturated wisdom for those in conflict. This book appears to be a condensed and more accessible version of his longer book The Peacemaker. He approaches conflict in a way that deals openly and honestly with the wrong that has been committed, but also in a way that is radically forgiving just as God, in Christ forgave us. One of the most valuable parts of this book is his insistence that God be glorified in the midst of conflict and resolution. This is usually the last thing on my mind but in reality it is most important. Another valuable component of this book is the extended section on what sorrow and forgiveness mean and what they don’t mean. Often times the words “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” are just thrown around, and no one knows what they mean. This can lead to more frustration, miscommunication and back into conflict. I highly recommend this book because it relentlessly points the reader back to the cross, where the ultimate conflict was overcome. Thank you Christianaudio reviewers program!
- Very Practical
This is an excellent audio on this very difficult subject. It’s simple and incredibly practical and that what makes it very easy to listen to.
The authors have made it a very straightforward issue, that has left me with no doubt as to what conflict is, and how to deal with it. It’s a fairly short audio which didn’t drag me down with lots of unnecessary theology, although there are plenty of biblical references in it.
The narrator Maurice England has a very listenable voice. I felt like I was sitting having coffee with a trusted friend giving me sound godly advice, with a loving attitude.
I liked the different examples given about everyday conflicts that were easily resolved.
I would recommend this book to everyone, as we all face conflict all the time and probably could do with some practical help to know how to deal with it properly.
Thanks to christianaudio.com Reviewers Program for the free copy of this audio.
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