You Can Win Her Back
Few challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before.
In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses:
· How to be truly and effectively transparent
· Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths
· What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel
· Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored
· The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies
· What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like
· The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful future
Including insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, Worthy of Her Trust guides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever.
- this book has changed my perspective in many ways it gives you a great frame to start building your trust and the reason as to why you want your wife to trust you.
My wife got me this book for Christmas and I must admit that at first my reaction was "a book? she knows I hate reading and have never listen to an audio book" however, this book has changed my perspective of things beginning with 1: now I know I like audio books 2: it showed me what I am working towards and why of course as to with any other guidance because that's what this book was to me, you must apply it to your life and taylor it to you marriage as well. This being said it is a great frame for you to start building your trust legos on.
- Recovering Trust In Marriage
Worthy of Her Trust by Stephen Arterburn and Jason B. Martinkus is a book focused on restoring trust within marriages devastated by unfaithfulness, particularly in the area of sexual integrity. It is a mixture of advice from well-known author Stephen Arterburn and the personal testimony of Jason Martinkus who struggled for many years with sexual addiction, which left his marriage in tatters.
He shares the many years of hard work he had to do to regain his wife's trust as well as covering some of the myths that surround this form of sin. There is some really helpful advice including getting accountability partners that the wife trusts who can give a realistic report and guidance around trigger situations such as travel and spending time on the internet. Unfortunately even within the church men fail badly in the area of sexual addiction, so this book would be a great resource for recovery but hopefully it can also be used a preventive measure, so it never gets to the point of addiction or adultery.
There were a few things that I found a bit worrying though in this book regarding statements that their marriage was better than ever, which may be the case but the same result could have been achieved by applying themselves to the marriage before getting into trouble rather than after it and consequently saving both husband wife a lot of hurt. Some of the trust building strategies seem technology reliant, which can fail such as no phone reception or the phone battery going dead but horrible betrayals of trust require radical means to recover this loss trust.
The narrators (one male and one female) were quite good as they related to the husband and wife's point of view on the topic. Both were very clear and easy to listen to, which made the text more effective.
This book would be very helpful for a couple where the husband has lied, cheated or engaged in unsavoury acts because it contains some good advice and help for both husband and wife.
This audio book was gifted as a part of the christianaudio Reviewers Program in exchange for my unbiased review of this work. More information can be found about this and other Christian audio books at christianaudio.com.
- Good for the pastor, questionable for the husband
This review, by Dr. Nicholson, has been provided courtesy of Desert Bible Institute
Worthy of Her Trust by Stephen Arterburn & Jason B. Martinkus is a well-written, well-structured book that will likely help a number of people. I found myself, at times, engrossed in the narrative elements of the story when we learn about the author’s challenges with fidelity, addiction, and honesty. The areas with which I struggled were some of the areas of advice. In many cases I found them either inapplicable, in the average situation, or not advantageous to the healing of the marriage.
There was great attention given to creating equanimity between the advice of the two primary authors. Sections of personal experience we balanced general advice. Sections than ran high with emotion were countered with practical application. Long narratives were offset by clear, structured exposition. I particularly liked the sections where we got a wife’s perspective in what was going on. All in all, this was a well thought-out book.
There were only two elements that I found distasteful. The first and foremost was the inapplicable nature of some of the advice. While most of the advice was both good and Biblical, there were some elements that were bothersome. One example of this was the “five minute phone call”. In brief, the author explains that when his wife calls he must pick up the phone immediately or dial back within five minutes. If he doesn’t, she is allowed to become angry and suspicious without concern of correction. The other element was statements made like “Your infidelity was the best thing that could have happened to our marriage.” This sends an overwhelming message that the “ends justify the means”. While it is a kind thing to say to assuage guilt, it is an unwholesome and potentially dangerous attitude. I spoke to many people about this and other elements offered in the book and all of them felt that occasional odd-solutions and comments were unbalanced and unhealthy. Overall, however, the book was good and useful.
I would likely suggest this book to other pastors with the caveat that they should prayerfully consider the solutions offered and feel free to apply discernment to what they shared with others. I would not suggest the book to a man in the middle of rebuilding his marriage, however, since his relationship is in a precarious place and even one piece of bad advice could offset all the good that could come from this book. While this book is clearly directed to the adulterous husband intent on fixing his marriage rather than ending it (an import and laudable goal) it should instead be used by a counselor or pastor that can sift the gold from the dross.
Dr. Nicholson reviews academic, Christian living, and fiction books for a variety of publishers in an array of formats. He is never paid for any of his reviews. He writes these strictly as a courtesy to his students at Desert bible Institute and for any other readers that might find his insights valuable. For more reviews or information, visit Dr. Nicholson’s blog at drtnicholson.wordpress.com.
A copy of the book was generously offered to Dr. Nicholson by christianaudio.com in exchange for this unbiased review.
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- Very encouraging
In keeping with the Every Man's Battle signature style, this book also delivers hope for men who have seemingly ruined their marriages and lives through sexual addiction. The authors make it clear that God's grace covers all sins, including adultery. Martinkus sets the state by giving his personal testimony of failure in sexual sin and the subsequent revival of trust in his marriage to his patient and ever-loving wife. His testimony alone gives the majority of men hope to change, even if they haven't gone as far as he did in nearly letting everything go. The authors give practical and biblical advice about the understanding of sexual sin in males as well as how to place safeguards to keep sexual desire in check. There is also included the voice and perspective of Martinkus' wife and how she was able to work through her side of the story, and she comments with grace and mercy. Personally, I listened to this book to further prepare myself with safeguards so that the author's story does not become mine. But for those who have messed up, there is hope and healing in this book.
As for further comment on the narration, the narrators (one male and one female) did a great job communicating the truths in the book with passion. They played the parts well.
I received this audio book as part of the christianaudio Reviewers Program and was not obligated to provide a positive review.
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